Important Advice for Dogs – Putting Things in Perspective

If you are a dog and your human is misbehaving here is some important advice for you.

• You should have your human fixed, even if it's a purebred human. There are too many humans, and our big cities are over populated with them to the point where we are unable to feed and shelter all of them.
• If your human talks too much, we suggest using a shock collar.
• If you must breed your human, even though we do not believe there are any good reasons for breeding humans, at least do genetic screening to help insure your human is a healthy one that conforms to breed standards.

• Some humans are very hyper and will pull on their leash constantly. For these extreme cases, we recommend a choker collar.
• If your human is aggressive and frequently starts fights, please put a muzzle on it when you take it out in public.
• You should feed your human something better than Purina human chow.
• If your human is sick, you should not put it down just because you can't afford the cost of surgery. You should re-arrange your budget or mortgage your dog house.
• Don't buy a human for your puppy just to teach it responsibility.
• You should always carry "money" treats to reward your human.  Humans love money and will do almost anything for money treats.
• If your human attacks a dog, it should be put to sleep.
• If you already own a male & a female human, you should be careful about getting a third human. Two males will often fight very aggressively for the attention of the female, and two females will often do the same over a male human.
• A good way to test a human for temperament is to take its money or food away from it to see if it reacts aggressively.
• Some humans have a bad habit of peeing in the water bowl; if your human continuously goes to the bathroom in the house, we suggest you chain it outside.