How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

Another oldie but funny goodie

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier OR Wire-haired Fox Terrier: I can reach it!  I just KNOW I can reach it! Another twenty jumps, and it's mine, ALL mine!!

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still wee on the carpet in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling.  Leave it for the servants.

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Chow Chow: I'm with the malamute. After I take my nap that is!

Akita: I'm with the chow and malamute! What's for dinner?

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch

Kelpie: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the question is, how long will it be before I can expect my light?

Staffordshire Bull Terrier: It only counts if it's the fridge light....otherwise, I can still sit on your lap in the dark

Beagle: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I ate was a light bulb?

Boost Creativity by Writing on Paper

I read Jenny Bravo Books Blog Why You Should Write Your Novel on Paper.  It had some valid points, so I gave the concept a try, not with a novel but a short story. Here is what I discovered. The link to the original blog is below.

Jenny begins with a comment on how a blinding white screen is tiring and can deaden creativity. I agree. There is nothing inspirational about it at all.

When I am stuck on how to phrase something, what word to use etc, I get up from the desk, wander around the house a couple of times, tossing the thought in my mind. 

The movement seems to help get the ideas going. I also get to pick up dirty washing, rinse the few dishes in the sink and do other little tasks that don’t require great concentration.

In relation to hand writing she said, “the tactile movement, the distraction-free nature, and the feeling of connection encouraged my story.”

Let’s look at some of her points.

• Margin writing. - If I'm writing a scene on paper, I get tons of ideas. I use the heck out of my margins, writing ideas for future scenes or characters, and brainstorming when I need it. Comment: It’s true. It is easier with pen and paper to note down ideas as you write. Just make sure you use pre-ruled paper. Nothing stifles creativity like having to draw lines on a piece of paper.

• Page-flipping, line-filling greatness. There's something amazing about the feeling of flipping a page filled with your own words. This is a great way to see your progress in full scale!

When I wrote Angel with Drumsticks I conducted several interviews with the central character. I used a recorder, but I also jotted down notes of key points. The book was always handy to note additional ideas and thoughts. When I finished I had a large exercise book filled with my handwriting. It was very messy with scribblings all over the place, but it made me feel proud. It hit home how much I achieved more than the final printed edition of the book.

• Prevent Self-editing - There is no “delete” key when it comes to pen and paper. When you write your novel on paper, it allows you to get everything out in the open before your brain kicks in to fix it. All the misspellings, all the unfinished ideas, all the questions are welcome on the page. It starts with a big mess. Editing comes later.

It really does allow creativity to flow better. How often have you lost your train of thought because that wiggly red line popped up and you went back to correct it.

You can still edit your story. Don’t like what you have written? Put a line through it. You can still read it later if you change your mind. I live in horror of deleting passages on the computer because once they are gone you can’t get them back unless you save draft after draft after draft.

Take it with you - Notebooks are portable and easier to carry than your laptop around. Tablets work, of course, but then there's the keyboard. Also, you never have to charge a notebook. Hooray for eternal battery life!

I hate keyboards on both laptops and tablets. OK I’m showing my age because I started with typewriters but honestly, you really can’t bash away at their keyboards when you a are in the middle of knocking off your villain.

Transfer your text, get ideas - There are plenty of good things to be said about the process of transferring scenes from paper to print. It gives you new ideas, a new way of seeing things, a fresh look at what you’ve already written.

My other thoughts
I am a bit of colour code freak, so I always have an array of coloured pens on the desk. I use these to make any changes as they come to mind. They stand out more than using the same blue or black pen and much quicker then changing the colour of fonts on the computer.

Like many writers I lie in bed and concoct the most brilliant storyline or wake in the middle of the night knowing exactly how to describe my character. You too?

Now, think about it. You get up, turn on the computer, wait, and wait some more while everything loads, open your word processor, wait some more – idea gone! All you manage is jotting down odd bits and hope they make sense in the morning.

It’s a lot more effective to just get up, grab a pen and paper and write, write, write.

Even when I was writing this blog straight onto the computer, I got distracted with formatting the document and lost my train of thought. Idiot, time to take your own advice (or Jenny’s)

http://jennybravobooks.com/blog/write-on-paper

Now, the only thing I must do is improve my handwriting, so I can read it and avoid having to type it up straight away.

Why you should read (and write) short stories

Writers are using self-publishing options more resulting in an increase short stories published as eBooks. This is said to be on the increase as a preference for both readers and writers. So why should you consider reading and writing short stories? Here are a few points to consider.

Advantages of Reading Short Stories
Short
They are short. You can generally read them in less than three hours. A single chunk will be a substantial part of the entire story because when you read a short story for even five minutes, you see the progress. This encourages the reader to pick it up when they have just a few minutes to spare.
When you’re between books, or don’t have the time to immerse yourself in a full novel, it’s very satisfying to read a thoughtful, well-written story.
Not finishing
Many people find committing to a novel daunting especially if they have experience the discouragement on giving up reading before the end. This in turn discourages them from reading more.
Evaluation
Only after you finish a book are you able to fully evaluate the story. If you have enjoyed it you are ready to select something from the same author, genre, or topic.
On the other hand, if the story hasn’t met your expectations, you will be more open to trying something completely different.
New and varied genres
It is a great way to try new genres and different authors. It is less time consuming than committing to a full novel and cheaper.
If you are a reader of heavier stories there are times, such as ill health, when you want something to read but want to keep it light. I found reading short light romance perfect when I was in hospital or confined to bed. It is the only time I have that genre
Concise
They are usually written concisely. The get straight into the story and the plot.
eBooks
Download a short story collection or selection to your book reading app. Reading one story might take less time than your trip to work or waiting to see the doctor but got others downloaded if you want to read more.
eBook short stories are often very cheap or free.
Great alternative to novels or in between
A great read between the novels. Sometimes, after finishing a long, fascinating, and deeply involving novel it is difficult to get ‘into’ another story and it feels good to take a break.
Having a break from a novel doesn’t mean you have to make a break from reading. You can reach for an easier and less challenging read – a short story.
Writing
So, why should you WRITE short stories - All the above
Free samples as a marketing tool
When books were only published in the traditional way – by a publisher and in print format – short stories were a rarity unless it was an anthology by a well-known writer. Today, with self-publishing, print on demand, and especially digital format that is changing. Authors can now publish any piece of writing in a digital form, no matter how long – or short – it is.
Digital books mean authors can free samples of their books, but they don’t always give you a clear idea if you will enjoy the whole book. One way authors are overcoming this is to offer short stories for free that supplement a series of novels e.g. a short story about a main character’s background.
Well written – enhance your skills
They’re usually very well-written.  Writers who can publish collections of short stories are generally well-established literary writers.
Short stories bring more pressure, because like poets, each paragraph, sentence, and word is more important than they would be inside a large novel. Short stories are precise with their delivery, they must capture the attention of the reader extraordinarily quickly and tell a full tale from beginning to end in roughly a half hour of reading.
Therefore, it takes a tremendous amount of skill to write a good short story, so it is a good way of honing your writing skills without committing to a full-length novel.
Book club
They’re perfect for book clubs. No one can show up to a book club without having read the selection — anyone can find the time to read a short story or two.  It could be your story they choose.
Re-read
They lend themselves to rereading. As much as I have enjoyed many books, my reading list is far too long to take the time rereading novels. A good short story, particularly a series, doesn’t cut into my new books waiting as much.