Sunday 24 June 2018

Dog and Cat Diary

As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk!  My favourite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food!  My favourite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids!  My favourite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard!  My favourite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride!  My favourite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids!  My favourite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball!  My favourite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom!  My favourite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad!  My favourite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food!  My favourite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch!  My favourite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed!  My favourite!

As seen in a cat's diary


Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.  The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

To disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair.  I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts.  They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.  Hmmm, that did not work according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Author unknown

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